Ever want to put the spark but in your relationship? Well, you’re not the only one. The longer you and your mate have been together the easier it becomes to forget about those simple things that once made you fall in love. Everything becomes routine and you often forget to find time for each other. Here are some great tips on just what to do to entice your mate and enjoy each other again.
Remember when you first met your significant other? Everything was new and exciting. You’d make out in an elevator, you’d miss each other because it had been two hours, and every little text or phone call made your heart skip a beat. Now years later, you’re happy, you know them inside and out, but you’re comfortable. You wear sweatpants more than lingerie, you fight about stupid things and you have the same 14 minute sexual routine, every. single. time.
All these things don’t mean your relationship is doomed, it’s human nature. We all get there. Hell, I’m there right now and there’s something beautiful about the comfort level, but also something very boring about it,too.
So how do you fix it? How do you get back to a time when everything was sexual and charged?
“Get a Hobby – A Note for Single Women” By: Dee Rene
I overheard a conversation (ok I listened on purpose) that a group of women were having. The conversation included such gems as “I can’t wait till I get a husband so I can go on a real vacation” and “I want to go to the concert but I don’t have a date and nobody will go with me”.
Single is not a curse, a death sentence, or a lifetime role. Now that we have the basics out of the way, being single DOES have the potential to drain the life out of you if you let it. As a single woman I can tell you one thing – get a hobby. Seriously. Hobbies are anything that allows you to explore your creative interest, grow a business, get out the house, or just be more active.
There’s a few reasons why this is important.
1. Get a hobby …. because boring isn’t cute on anyone.
Imagine going out on a date with someone and the most interesting thing they’ve done that day is move from the bed to the couch in record time. You must have a life in order to be ready to build a life with someone else.
2. Get a hobby … because you can’t meet anyone new in your apartment.
Social media aside, you really aren’t meeting anyone new in your apartment. Picking up a cooking class, a meetup.com group, or even entering an adult air hockey league are great ways to get you out of the house and meeting new people. And we all know the secret to ending your stint in single-dom is to meet someone new!
Here we go again, Valentine’s Day is around the corner and single folks are bound to feel bitter for yet another year. Well, you really don’t have to be. Here are some common mistakes single people make on valentine’s Day. Enjoy.
“Mistakes Single People Make On Valentine’s Day” By: Dee Rene
Quoteables: “Jesus is not your damn Valentine!” Ha!
“Act Like a Lady, Have Sex Like a Man” By: Dee Rene
He gets up from his late night conquest and drives home with a smile on his face. The sex was satisfying, safe, and most importantly – no strings attached. His lover is beautiful and gives his body exactly what it needs. He doesn’t kiss and tell, but if his boys found out he had a woman just to satisfy his sexual needs they’d just give him a high five and move on.
Now imagine that’s a woman walking through that scenario instead of a man. Would anyone give her a high five? Or would they just call her a hoe?
The truth is there are women out there that are sexually free and engaging in sexual behavior that’s typical (or expected) of men rather than women.
Rebecca is a 20-something, educated, heterosexual woman and she’s out there living a no-strings attached sex life. Finally setting herself free from the misconception that women can’t have sex without getting attached.
When did you discover that you could separate sex and love?
I discovered it in 11th grade. It was this guy and he was like the pretty boy and girls liked him but I wasn’t interested in him on a dating level.
We ended up hooking up and it was cool. I come over, we had sex and I went home but I didn’t feel any attachment to this dude which was different. I finally understood I could be sexually attracted to somebody but not feel emotional about them.
How did you feel?
At the time I wasn’t really thinking about it being unusual. I wasn’t like oh my gosh I’m doing something women can’t do. I was doing what I wanted to do.
Let’s be real. That type of mindset would have most people calling you a hoe. How would you respond to that? _______READMORE
Thirty days are up and we must get the scoop on the last few days of Jeff’s online dating experiment. We’ll hear from Jeff about his overall experience and get an update on some of his more infamous dates!
What do you think about the experiment overall?
It was good. I got out to see a lot of women and went on a lot of dates. Which was kind of expensive. Met new people and it was a new experience. And hopefully this last one can be my girlfriend.
If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I wouldn’t change much except I wouldn’t use the free site. The paid site was better. If you are paying you get more out of it and more people you’d be interested in talking to versus the free site.
Maybe I would sign up at a different time. I got more hits at the very beginning of January. Maybe people signed up to try something new with the New Year but my account has had a lot of hits in the past 2 days.
So let’s go through the dates that stuck out the most in your mind.
What happened to Jennifer also known as “Ms. 90 day rule”?
We did have sex after like 2 weeks. I wanted to see if could break the 90 day rule and I did. Which sounds horrible I know. It wasn’t like I broke it to see if I could, she wanted me to break it.
She told you that?
Yea. Jennifer said she knew she wanted to sleep with me when she first met me. When I asked her about the 90 day thing she said if someone sticks around that long then they deserve it. And she was seeing if I would stick around that long. But then Jennifer said she felt genuine about me and that something could happen with us so she gave it up.
Jeff decided to try something new. Several online dating sites now have “mixers.”
The purpose of mixers is to get everyone online to meet offline in a low pressure
environment. It’s like taking your friends/followers list and having a cocktail party.
One name tag and a few conversations later, Jeff is waiting in the “holding room”
waiting for the women to be let into the room. He described the situation as cattle. Men were herded into one room and women were then shuffled in after browsing the list of attendees.
Oh because that’s not awkward at all.
What did the women say when they met you?
Several of them complimented that I was attractive and had a good personality. I had a lot of women come up and talk to me. I was a little more dressed up than the other guys. They had on tshirts and jeans.
Did you meet anyone?
Yes. I connected with Jennifer who I found out works at my job. I knew she looked familiar. And a girl named Sasha.
Would you stand at your wedding and tell everyone that you met your mate on Twitter?
Marcus says no. When it comes to online dating he’s still a traditionalist. “I’m more against online dating because of the fact that I don’t believe in meeting people at random. I don’t trust meeting them randomly and being able to vet them properly and trust they are a quality person and trust they won’t be an axe murder,” he explained.
In the past, Marcus has only dated women he’s met through other friends. He believes online dating is only for people who are really looking to meet a future wife/husband right now and he’s just not in that place in life.
Cassandra is also against online dating. She said, “I find that online dating allows someone to create a persona that reflects how they would LIKE others to see them not how they truly are. I’d also prefer to meet someone in person so I can see exactly what I’m getting and vice versa in terms of attraction and chemistry.” She also prefers meeting people through friends and putting them through an extensive vetting process (i.e. asking the friends question about the potential boo) before getting involved.
But the reality is it is 2012 and not everyone is meeting their potential mate in the frozen food section of the grocery store. What do you do when your friends-of-friends has dried up and the local bar scene isn’t yielding any great results? We’ll hear from a man and woman who are just starting on their journey to date online.
In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month we thought it would be a great idea to touch on this sensitive topic by sharing one woman’s ordeal on how she wound up in a violent relationship and how she overcame it. Here’s her story.
“I Never Thought It Would Be Me” By: Dee Rene
The first time he called me a “Bitch” I was too shocked to say anything.
A lot of times we watch Lifetime movies or hear the stories of friends and think, “That’ll never be me.” It’s never going to be you until it is you. Everyone’s brave when they aren’t in the situation.
But he wasn’t hitting me.
That’s what I kept telling myself as his comments grew colder and colder and his words beat me up every night. He wasn’t hitting me so it wasn’t abuse.
I felt terrible. I felt like the bottom of the earth and scum on his shoe. We’d have good days, and then he’d blow up at the smallest thing and put me out and not take my calls. Then he’d call a few days later and apologize claiming he was stressed and loved me still. He’d beg to be back in my life. He’d apologize for the hurtful things he said and he’d be the man I loved again for a few days.
A small trigger and my name would change.
The first two months were everything I’d imagined they would be. I was doing the Beyonce “Single Ladies” dance every chance I got. My hips dipped and swirled while I flashed my empty ring finger and swung my pretend hair all down the dance floor.
Being single was cool.
A few more months passed and my hips still swirled excitedly. The friends who’d joined me before were now quietly sipping drinks and texting boyfriends about plans post-party. I swung my imaginary weave and didn’t care. Drama, break ups, being accountable to someone else and all the “headaches” of a relationship were behind me.
Satan in a Sunday Hat: The Good Man Swindle By: Dee Rene
“Girl he’s just Satan in a Sunday hat!” – @nuclearnellie
The first time I heard my homegirl say this I died in laughter. Imagine satan just walking around in a Sunday hat trying to blend in with the saints. When I stopped to think about what she really meant I had to take a step back. She was talking about the Good Man Swindle.
The “good man swindle” is the guy who has all the actions and words of a good man, but he’s really not deep down in his heart. He’s the guy that is telling you all the right things. The only problem is that he’s telling every cutie with a booty the same things as well.
What are some of the characteristics of this Satan in a Sunday hat?
It’s 2 am and my phone is ringing. Thinking it’s my “boo” calling, I answer with the “I was sleeping but I’m trying to sound awake for you” voice only to be greeted by a female voice I don’t recognize. “Are you fucking my man?”
And here we go again….
How do men get away with this? If you’ve dated long enough, some of us have been a side chick knowingly or unknowingly. Men are bad liars, but their patterns are similar. He simply builds relies on AMBIGUITY. In this abmitugity, you will get ‘side chicked’ before you know it.
His main is always a dummy. Well, maybe Bambi is the better term – bright eyed and naive. The Bambi is the woman who wants to believe the best of him but has a sneaking suspicion that he’s seeing someone else. So she tries to make friends with all the women who flit with him on a social network – telling her sad tale about “not wanting to be played and I just have to ask woman-to-woman.” Side note: If you feel the need to chase down everyone he flirts with to make your claim that he is your man and hope to extend an olive branch of “sisters gotta stick together” so that they stay away from him, you should seek help.
She is shouting from the rooftops that he’s her man yet he maintains a quiet ambiguity. They are “exclusive. Kinda together but not really, but everyone close to us knows. With no title.” Right. That’s like being a little bit pregnant. It’s either one or the other but she doesn’t want to apply pressure so she plays her position.