Treat Your Sweet Tooth...
Here we go again, Valentine’s Day is around the corner and single folks are bound to feel bitter for yet another year. Well, you really don’t have to be. Here are some common mistakes single people make on valentine’s Day. Enjoy.
“Mistakes Single People Make On Valentine’s Day” By: Dee Rene
Quoteables: “Jesus is not your damn Valentine!” Ha!
Visit Dee’s own blog over at Laugh.Cry.Cuss and visit the LCC YouTube Channel for more from Dee.
“Act Like a Lady, Have Sex Like a Man” By: Dee Rene
He gets up from his late night conquest and drives home with a smile on his face. The sex was satisfying, safe, and most importantly – no strings attached. His lover is beautiful and gives his body exactly what it needs. He doesn’t kiss and tell, but if his boys found out he had a woman just to satisfy his sexual needs they’d just give him a high five and move on.
Now imagine that’s a woman walking through that scenario instead of a man. Would anyone give her a high five? Or would they just call her a hoe?
The truth is there are women out there that are sexually free and engaging in sexual behavior that’s typical (or expected) of men rather than women.
Meet Rebecca.
Rebecca is a 20-something, educated, heterosexual woman and she’s out there living a no-strings attached sex life. Finally setting herself free from the misconception that women can’t have sex without getting attached.
When did you discover that you could separate sex and love?
I discovered it in 11th grade. It was this guy and he was like the pretty boy and girls liked him but I wasn’t interested in him on a dating level.
We ended up hooking up and it was cool. I come over, we had sex and I went home but I didn’t feel any attachment to this dude which was different. I finally understood I could be sexually attracted to somebody but not feel emotional about them.
How did you feel?
At the time I wasn’t really thinking about it being unusual. I wasn’t like oh my gosh I’m doing something women can’t do. I was doing what I wanted to do.
Let’s be real. That type of mindset would have most people calling you a hoe. How would you respond to that? _______READMORE
Check out this hilariously clever, but well done, video on how to tell when a guy is just not into you. What are you doing wrong? And how can you change it. Here’s “He Don’t Like You Girl”….
He Just Don’t Like You Girl from DeeRene on Vimeo.
Check out Ms. Dee Rene’s own site LaughCryCuss.com. You can also find her over at Twitter: @DeeRene_LCC
Thirty days are up and we must get the scoop on the last few days of Jeff’s online dating experiment. We’ll hear from Jeff about his overall experience and get an update on some of his more infamous dates!
Catch up if you missed it!
Part 1: The 30 Day Online Dating Challenge
Part 2: The 30 Day Online Dating Challenge: The Crazy & The Delusional
What do you think about the experiment overall?
It was good. I got out to see a lot of women and went on a lot of dates. Which was kind of expensive. Met new people and it was a new experience. And hopefully this last one can be my girlfriend.
If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I wouldn’t change much except I wouldn’t use the free site. The paid site was better. If you are paying you get more out of it and more people you’d be interested in talking to versus the free site.
Maybe I would sign up at a different time. I got more hits at the very beginning of January. Maybe people signed up to try something new with the New Year but my account has had a lot of hits in the past 2 days.
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So let’s go through the dates that stuck out the most in your mind.
What happened to Jennifer also known as “Ms. 90 day rule”?
We did have sex after like 2 weeks. I wanted to see if could break the 90 day rule and I did. Which sounds horrible I know. It wasn’t like I broke it to see if I could, she wanted me to break it.
She told you that?
Yea. Jennifer said she knew she wanted to sleep with me when she first met me. When I asked her about the 90 day thing she said if someone sticks around that long then they deserve it. And she was seeing if I would stick around that long. But then Jennifer said she felt genuine about me and that something could happen with us so she gave it up.
On our last entry, Jeff had just entered the world of online dating and experienced not one, but TWO hell dates.
Here’s the story in case you missed it: The 30 Day Online Dating Challenge.
Jeff decided to try something new. Several online dating sites now have “mixers.”
The purpose of mixers is to get everyone online to meet offline in a low pressure
environment. It’s like taking your friends/followers list and having a cocktail party.
One name tag and a few conversations later, Jeff is waiting in the “holding room”
waiting for the women to be let into the room. He described the situation as cattle. Men were herded into one room and women were then shuffled in after browsing the list of attendees.
Oh because that’s not awkward at all.
What did the women say when they met you?
Several of them complimented that I was attractive and had a good personality. I had a lot of women come up and talk to me. I was a little more dressed up than the other guys. They had on tshirts and jeans.
Did you meet anyone?
Yes. I connected with Jennifer who I found out works at my job. I knew she looked familiar. And a girl named Sasha.
Now here is where our story gets interesting….
Welcome to the 30 day online dating challenge…with a twist!
Dating someone online is like diving head first into a pool of Jello – seems like a fun new idea but when you actually jump in, it may not be everything you expected.
Meet Jeff. Jeff (name changed) is a single man with no children in a major city. He’s tired of the blind dates, meeting random women in the grocery store, and especially the hook-ups from friends. Jeff agreed to sign up for an online dating site and allow me to document his experiences for 30 days.
I asked Jeff about his expectations and he said, “It’s almost like you are trying to win the lottery. Maybe you don’t really expect to win, but you want to.“ But he was all in to give it a try!
There’s just one problem…Jeff had no clue how to write a profile.
I got a bright idea that adds a little twist to our experiment. I swooped in like Super Woman (but with a better outfit) and wrote Jeff’s online dating profile.
All the information is true. However, as a heterosexual woman, I have a pretty good idea of all the things that would catch my eye.
I vetoed the pictures he wanted to use that were bland or unflattering. Instead I selected more professional photos and some that showcased a little personality.
I picked out the best things about his personality and wrote them clearly, concisely, and with my own special brand of glitter. Basically I changed his original content of “I like hanging out, sports, and laughing with friends” to “I enjoy cheering (or booing) my favorite team and spending time with my friends cracking up. Life is way too short and I plan to enjoy it with great people and lots of jokes. ”
See the difference? Instead of just knowing the basics that sound like 1000 other profiles, we jazzed it up a bit and added a little humor too.
I also sent out Jeff’s first few messages to women. I showed him how to approach a woman online without sounding like a level 10 creep. Then I released him to the wolves to fend for himself.
Would you stand at your wedding and tell everyone that you met your mate on Twitter?
Marcus says no. When it comes to online dating he’s still a traditionalist. “I’m more against online dating because of the fact that I don’t believe in meeting people at random. I don’t trust meeting them randomly and being able to vet them properly and trust they are a quality person and trust they won’t be an axe murder,” he explained.
In the past, Marcus has only dated women he’s met through other friends. He believes online dating is only for people who are really looking to meet a future wife/husband right now and he’s just not in that place in life.
Cassandra is also against online dating. She said, “I find that online dating allows someone to create a persona that reflects how they would LIKE others to see them not how they truly are. I’d also prefer to meet someone in person so I can see exactly what I’m getting and vice versa in terms of attraction and chemistry.” She also prefers meeting people through friends and putting them through an extensive vetting process (i.e. asking the friends question about the potential boo) before getting involved.
But the reality is it is 2012 and not everyone is meeting their potential mate in the frozen food section of the grocery store. What do you do when your friends-of-friends has dried up and the local bar scene isn’t yielding any great results? We’ll hear from a man and woman who are just starting on their journey to date online.
Are you serious? Women Paying for Dates?
Perhaps this goes back to many moons ago when men paid 10 cows to the family to
marry a woman. Maybe it goes back further than that. No one really knows. What really matters, however, is that some women out there have never (and I mean never) even thought about paying for a date.
But maybe times are changing…
The notion that a man should pay for a date stems from the idea that men are providers. It’s true that before God gave Adam a wife, He gave him a job and men should have something to contribute to the family (financially). However, does that always mean a man should always pay on dates?
Absolutely not.
In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month we thought it would be a great idea to touch on this sensitive topic by sharing one woman’s ordeal on how she wound up in a violent relationship and how she overcame it. Here’s her story.
“I Never Thought It Would Be Me” By: Dee Rene
The first time he called me a “Bitch” I was too shocked to say anything.
A lot of times we watch Lifetime movies or hear the stories of friends and think, “That’ll never be me.” It’s never going to be you until it is you. Everyone’s brave when they aren’t in the situation.
But he wasn’t hitting me.
That’s what I kept telling myself as his comments grew colder and colder and his words beat me up every night. He wasn’t hitting me so it wasn’t abuse.
I felt terrible. I felt like the bottom of the earth and scum on his shoe. We’d have good days, and then he’d blow up at the smallest thing and put me out and not take my calls. Then he’d call a few days later and apologize claiming he was stressed and loved me still. He’d beg to be back in my life. He’d apologize for the hurtful things he said and he’d be the man I loved again for a few days.
A small trigger and my name would change.
“A Year Into Single” By: Dee Rene
The first two months were everything I’d imagined they would be. I was doing the Beyonce “Single Ladies” dance every chance I got. My hips dipped and swirled while I flashed my empty ring finger and swung my pretend hair all down the dance floor.
Being single was cool.
A few more months passed and my hips still swirled excitedly. The friends who’d joined me before were now quietly sipping drinks and texting boyfriends about plans post-party. I swung my imaginary weave and didn’t care. Drama, break ups, being accountable to someone else and all the “headaches” of a relationship were behind me.
Being single was amazing.
Satan in a Sunday Hat: The Good Man Swindle By: Dee Rene
“Girl he’s just Satan in a Sunday hat!” – @nuclearnellie
The first time I heard my homegirl say this I died in laughter. Imagine satan just walking around in a Sunday hat trying to blend in with the saints. When I stopped to think about what she really meant I had to take a step back. She was talking about the Good Man Swindle.
The “good man swindle” is the guy who has all the actions and words of a good man, but he’s really not deep down in his heart. He’s the guy that is telling you all the right things. The only problem is that he’s telling every cutie with a booty the same things as well.
What are some of the characteristics of this Satan in a Sunday hat?
“Why the Independent Woman Struggles with Dating” By: Dee Rene
You’ve seen her before right? Much to the tune of the Webbie and Lil Boosie beat – “She got her own car, she got her own house, work hard, two jobs, she a bad broad…” And all the while she’s scream independent, she goes home to cuddle with silence and pillows at night.
In my young career life I’ve had quite a bit of success. By all calculations I’m independent, well except for the occasional “mama I’m sick and don’t know what to take” phone call. I’ve not relied on anyone to give me anything even when I didn’t have a dime to my name after college. I went to food banks, shopped at thrift stores and worked damn hard to now be a self-sufficient career woman that can eat, shop AND pay bills at the same damn time.
And by all calculations, I’ll be single forever.