Falling in love is a beautiful experience. Let’s face it, just about everyone wants to be in love and find that special someone they can spend the rest of their lives with; their soul mates. But, as many of you will know, as beautiful of an experience as falling in love is, love can also be toxic if you’re not careful about the person you fall for.
Here are 7 signs you may be losing your identity in your current relationship:
1. Your friends are his friends: I know you love spending quality time together, both alone and in groups, but it may not be healthy to have the same friends. In fact, it’s best you have your own set of friends to maintain some separation. It’s great for when planning group outings, I know. The draw back, however, is if things were to go wrong with you two, your friends may be forced to take sides.
2. You think in terms of us: When dating, for most of us, the ultimate goal is marriage and building a life together. However, it’s very important to have your own set of goals and aspirations. Make plans for the future, yes. However, it’s important to be self-sufficient and have your own goals and aspirations. If the relationship is no longer one you want to be involved in, being able to support yourself, both emotionally and financially will make an easy transition in waking away from a relationship that is no longer good for you.
3. You make plans around his schedule: One of the biggest pet peeves for a man is dating a woman who’ll constantly invade his space and time. That “man cave” is his to isolate himself when he’s in need of some me time, and well, that includes you. Again, it’s best you also have your own interests and schedule to adhere to to maintain some space.
4. Your decisions are based on what he’ll think: It’s very important to have your own ideas and opinions on any given subject. As the saying goes, “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.” There’s lots of truth to this saying. Have you ever had a friend or associate you wished would stand up for themselves or get a backbone? Well, don’t be that friend or companion.
5. You dress according to his preference: If you have to change your appearance to satisfy your mate, ask yourself, why are you even with this person? Subtle suggestions aren’t bad actually but if you’re spending an extensive period of time changing your hair, wardrobe or even making permanent changes and enhancements to your appearance, again, you’re not with someone who’ll appreciate you just for you.
6. You mimic your behavior after his or how he’d prefer you to act: If you’re too worried about what he’d think if you “act out” that’s probably someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with. Why did he fall in love with you in the first place? It’s probably best you find a mate that loves and appreciates you for you instead of one that’s trying to change and mold you. Changing who you are for a person will only stifle your individual self and identity.
7. You put her own interests and hobbies aside for his: Nothing is worst than living your life that will be fulfilling for YOU! Remember, your interests, hobbies, activities, personality etc. sets you apart from any one else. These are often the things that bring you joy, allow you to distress and maintain balance in your life, without them you’ll likely become irritable and unhappy.
If you embody four or more of these characteristics, you may need to take a step back from your relationship and evaluate your own identity.
*The advice and thoughts shared in this article is simply an opinion. If you need further analysis of your relationship, we suggest seeking the advise of a licensed therapist and/or relationship counselor.*
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