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Now it seems that every time a woman has sex with more than one man she’s a hoe. There are all types of ridiculous rules such as “if you sleep with more than 3 people in a year you a hoe!” Excuse me? What if she just enjoys sex?

Women who are safe and sexually active are QUICKLY labeled a hoe because they enjoy sex for pleasure. No, it doesn’t work that way.

Let’s take your average, stereotypical hoe. When a man walks by, she somehow ends up naked. There’s no discretion. Whether he’s married, involved, crazy, employed or anything else that would keep a “good” woman away she is down to ride (pun intended). She’s always up for her next sexual conquest. Now, change that scenario from a woman seeking sexual conquest to a man doing the same. It’s a totally different story right? He’s out just being a man and that’s perfectly acceptable. I understand we live in a world of double standards, but this is also why I don’t believe in calling a woman a hoe simply because she enjoys sex.

It’s obvious there is a clear misunderstanding of what a hoe is and what a hoe is not. Most would say a hoe is a woman who is sexing anyone with a pulse.

However, the word hoe, slang for whore, is defined by Webster as a prostitute. As in a woman who sleeps with men for money. Along the way we have manipulated not just the word but also the definition. We’ve changed the word to help keep the double standard in place and women sexually oppressed.

The emphasis is not on the number of partners but on having sex in hopes to GAIN something.

Thus, in my opinion, being a hoe is a MINDSET.

The sex you are having becomes hoe-sex when your mindset switches from an act of pleasure to an act of profit. Anyone who is sleeping with someone to GAIN anything – finances, prestige, love- is a hoe. Whenever you use what’s between your legs to get you something that you don’t already have, you are prostituting (sex for profit) and by definition – a hoe.

I argue that a woman who is sleeping with multiple men is only a true hoe if she’s sleeping with the men to gain something more than pleasure. This also means that you can sleep with one man and be a hoe if you are only sleeping with him to gain his popularity, love, or money. And yes, sex to win his love is included. I know that’s a tough pill to swallow but anytime sex is the means to the end (sans procreation) instead of just an act you enjoy, you my dear friend, are participating in hoe activities.

Tough break.

Double standard be damned. For the women who enjoy sex and are tired of being called a hoe, let me assure you that you are simply human. Just be safe out there. My motto is always enjoy the sex, just don’t be a hoe about it. Always check your mindset so that you are not an unintentional hoe. Be careful that you aren’t lying to yourself about having glorious standards because your number of partners is so low but yet every time you do have sex it’s to gain something from that partner – even love. It’s all about self-awareness, respect, and being true to self. You can enjoy sex, have lots of it, and not be hoe as long as you don’t have a hoe’s mindset about it.

Source: Tattle Tailzz

Written By: Dee Rene

Follow Dee on Twitter @AllThingzRandom and visit Dee’s own blog at Laugh.Cry.Cuss


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  • Raven

    If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If you reverse genders and have one woman who sleeps around with five men who are monogamous to her, and she gets pregnant, the father could be any of the five men. And if one of those men is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he’s investing time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that isn’t carrying his DNA into the next generations, a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint.

  • Raven

    A woman has more to lose from choosing bad sex partners than a man does. She’s the one who gets stuck with going through a pregnancy and taking care of a baby alone if she chooses a deadbeat. For this reason, promiscuous women throughout history have historically been viewed as being a vastly more irresponsible risk takers than promiscuous men, who rightly or wrongly could always run away from the consequences of unwanted pregnancies easier than women could.