Was your relationship already set up to fail from the beginning? There are many times women find themselves at the end of a relationship and mad brokenhearted. Often times taken off guard that it’s ended. But perhaps the relationship was destined to fail. Sometimes there are warning signs before you ever get into a relationship that should have told you it was doomed.
1. You Didn’t Really Know Him I’ve been a victim of infatuation. I met a man on Monday, fell in love by Thursday and was in a relationship by Saturday. Okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you get it. Essentially I was swept up in the romanticism of meeting someone who I had this instant connection with only to discover that we really didn’t have as much in common when the rose colored glasses came off. My relationship was destined to end because I entered the relationship in a whirlwind and only wound up thrown off my ass.
2. Another Woman and The Options Dating does mean seeing multiple people and finding out what you like. However, there are times when you meet someone and he has been dating or “talking to” another woman for some period of time and somewhat seriously. Of course he will downplay the situation because he doesn’t want to lose you as an option. However, if you enter a relationship knowing that he was recently somewhat serious with someone else, it may be destined for failure. This also applies to cheating with a man and then becoming his main woman. Nothing good comes from taking something that’s not yours. This is the type of situation that could have you discovering some “sext” messages from the woman who hasn’t quite gotten the memo. A relationship destined for failure.
3. Rebounds and Broken Hearts Healing is essential to a new relationship. If either of you still has a broken heart and baggage from a previous relationship, your new relationship won’t stand. It’s possible to work through the pain together, but shouldn’t you want to enter the relationship as a whole person with another whole person? The other thing to consider is being the rebound. Everything new is great when you are trying to get over something you lost. When I entered a relationship with broken men I found that it was extremely stressful trying to love someone back to health. It’s draining and can lead to arguments. If someone doesn’t have a lot to give you, you can’t be mad when you come up short.
4. An Incomplete Life & in Transition In a relationship, it’s best to show up with more than just yourself. You both need to bring something to the table and have something to share. This does not mean that you both have to be extremely successful in your careers, own a home, and have this whole life thing figured out. It does mean that you need to be personally fulfilled and stable – not in some extreme life transition. If you tried to date someone who is lost with no sense of self or fulfillment, it’s only a natural progression that the relationship will end as the person attempts to find themselves. Again, it is possible for this to work out and you both to grow together. But finding a complete life is a personal journey. What happens when that person finds themselves but you no longer like them? or even worse, they no longer like you?
5. When You Are Lonely This is the most difficult to avoid and also the most likely to end up in a bad break up. Loneliness drives you into the arms of someone you should never date in the first place. An old flame, a new person you barely know, or a bad guy in general can all become your boo during a lonely season. If you entered a relationship while lonely, it’s likely that you’ll discover the person you selected was only selected because they were there – not because they were the one. This type of relationship was definitely destined for failure.
Relationships ending are a part of life but sometimes we only have ourselves to blame. Take the lesson and do better the next time. Heed the warning and get off the tracks when you see the heartbreak train coming.