I just wanted a ginger ale.
Entering the store an older man says “Good Evening Gorgeous!” I decide that just because I have an attitude at my entire day, I don’t need to have an attitude with him and smile politely and thank him. I move on and entertain chip choices, grab my drink and head to check out. He rushes up beside me and says he’ll pay for it.
Little did I know that meant I now belonged to him. No matter how much I tried to politely brush him off he keeps pursing me. Why do men never get the hint?
But I’d be remised if I didn’t include BOTH men and women in this lost art form of ‘taking the hint.’ Here are a few ways to tell if someone is NOT interested.
The person keeps walking
If you are approaching someone while they are walking, and express interest such as “hey how are you can I talk to you for a moment” and the person keeps walking, he or she is not interested. Someone who is immediately attracted to you will unconsciously turn towards you and stop to hold a conversation for a least some measure of time. If your target, I mean love interest, keeps walking without breaking stride that person is not initially attracted and it’s best to cut your losses and stop.
No initiated contact
Are you always the one calling, texting, facebooking or tweeting? Some men or women take time to start initiating contact with a new interest. However, if you constantly find yourself initiating contact, it’s likely that the person may not be interested. You are bound to contact someone if you are thinking about them. If there is no contact, they aren’t thinking about you and not interested.
Constantly changing or cancelling plans
People keep plans with people who they consider a priority. Your love interest may be constantly changing and cancelling plans as a way to let you off easy and avoid hurting your feelings. He or she may also consider plans with you optional and cancel your plans to spend time with someone who has more of their attention and interest. Take the hint and let it go.
Asking for advice about other love interests
If I’m trying to date you, I will NOT ask you for advice on other love interests. I may TELL you that I’m dating other people but I’m not giving up details and will likely explain that the dates are ‘nothing serious.’ I’m essentially friend zoning you by making it clear I want it to work out with someone else. If your love interest is constantly telling you about other dates and asking what their next steps should be, he or she is probably not interested in you romantically.
Short responses, no responses, no questions
This ties into the “no initiated contact.” When I’m not very interested in a person, the responses I send are usually very short and don’t include any questions. Asking questions indicates that you are interested in how that person is doing and/or want more information because you care. For example, if you text “How are you doing today beautiful? What are you doing today?” a person who isn’t interested may respond “I’m fine, thank you! I’m running a few errands.” You’ll wait a while and keep sending messages only to get short responses and no inquiries about your life.
He or she is just being polite. When I’m interested in someone, my response would be “I’m doing well. How are you doing?” and include additional messages with details and perhaps a suggestion to see you sometime that day.
The other huge sign is if someone not responding to your messages. Most people are selective texters. We’ve all seen someone get a message, pick up the phone, and put the phone right back down usually accompanied by an eye roll. If it takes days for someone to respond or no response at all, let it go they are not interested. You may try to rationalize that the person is busy but no one is ever too busy for a new crush. Ever.
I’m not interested
Someone saying “I’m not interested” is not code for try harder. It’s not code for prove your love and pursue me anyway. It’s not code for hang around and hope for something to change tomorrow. A good rule of thumb is to believe people mean what they say and say what they mean. If the person really was talking in code, he or she plays mind games and it is best you avoid that relationship anyway.
Please don’t be like my ginger ale buying stalker. People are not generally rude and often find ways to let you down easy. TAKE THE HINT and save us the trouble in the long run of having to block your calls.
Read more from Dee Rene at http://laughcrycuss.com