It seems our recent article, 5 Signs He’s A Mama’s Boy, hit the nerve of a few men who frequent this site, so we gave one reader a chance to challenge our ideas and tell it, as he sees fit, on why we may have gotten it wrong. Now ladies, I’ll be the first to admit that I do not agree with most of what he’s written here but it is only fair that we allow the message be told from a male’s point of view. And, perhaps, he may have a few valid arguments. Here’s his take on our perception on mama’s boys and why women should never call a man a boy.
First of all. A woman can’t tell a man what he is (just like a man can’t tell a woman what she is). ESPECIALLY A “BOY”. Why? Because a woman has NO experience living as a man or a boy. What IMO should have happened is, women might want to take note of what men do when we are clueless about a woman, we ask her friend (a woman) for advice.
Ladies (loosely used), please whenever making inferences that has to do with the male ego, consult another man. Why? because you’re wrong already :).
Btw, ladies, never call a man especially a BLACK MAN anything with the word BOY in it. Thanks.
1. Run Tell That. His mother will always know what’s going on. And not necessarily because he’s divulging information to her. What I’ve noticed is that women just don’t like women who SEEM to be a possible (no matter how minimal) threat to replacing the current queen bee in this man’s life. I’ve seen it happen so many times. Girlfriends, daughters, and mothers. At war! And who wins the war? The one with the most information! And mothers have already ahead. They have experience being mothers, daugthers, girlfriends and wives so they know all of the tricks and have unblocked access to your man. I mean this is only ONE possible scenario. But ladies…THIS IS THE MOST PLAUSIBLE ONE!
2. Domestically Handicapped. I’ll be the first to admit that a man should know how to fold and clean his own drawz, but if mom wants to do it, who are we to say no? Sometimes, that is the custom and the role of the woman of the house to make sure that a young man’s underoos are skid mark free. Perhaps you could learn something because in order to become the queen bee in his life, are you refusing to WASH YOUR MAN’S TIGHTY WHITIES? Smh… you’re already starting off on a negative. And I like the smell of Gain.
3. The Bar is Too Damn High. I’ll meet you half way on this one. Nobody’s cooking will rival mom’s because we are weened on it. And she will test her jab and right cross by asking the young man about her ninjitsu culinary skills. But damn, reach for the stars. Try your best! Please try your best. Cooking is a whole other story. But if your man keeps telling you that “damn baby, moms is much better.” Then I agree with you, tell him to eat at moms then. Kicking him to the curb? Is silly. Ladies, please learn to pick your battles. Feeding a man is VERY IMPORTANT. If you can’t do it properly then someone else is…whether he’s telling you or not. These are very basic skills here (cooking and cleaning). Not somebody telling you program a computer. And these skills go beyond something as vapid as self gratification. For a man, these basic skills show that the young woman can take care of him and maybe his kids. If she cannot do that, then why be with her? Seriously. What is she adding (besides bills) if she’s not good at these things? Our mother happens to be that measurement because SHE DOES THESE THINGS!!!
4. “My Mama Said…” That’s BS to discount what he says just because he quotes his mother. I can understand how beating a dead horse gets annoying so I agree with that. But again ladies, pick your battles. How many times have you quoted your mom, or grandma (putting your purse on the floor) or your drunk daddy (how he thinks a man should be), or a ho like Marilyn Monroe (…you don’t deserve me at my best blah blah blah). I’d be rich if I had a dollar for every time a young woman has told me about her crazy daddy spoiling her crazier mother and that’s how she’d like to be spoiled. GTFOH!
5. Bitter Bob. This last one is almost BS. I say that because all of these hold some bit of truth. BUT, the author is telling you to make a rash decision. Perhaps she was talking about extreme cases where the guy is deranged. But then again why are you dating deranged menses? Now, if these conditions happened with a woman (usually daddy issues), I’d say run! Why the inequality? Well first you must understand 2 fundamental things here. #1 in no way men and women are supposed to be equal AT ALL. People who want that are stupid. Really, we don’t even live like that…so just calm that noise down. Secondly, men and women handle stimuli differently. A relationship with one’s mother may be some indicator for a few special nut jobs.
But should that include people like orphans or those who were abused by their mothers? And to be honest some women just aren’t that great of mothers. But this last one, has very little to do with mothers and has everything to do with his overall view of women. Women have this thing that they should all be talked about in some great light, even when they ain’t sh*t. Especially the ones who like to call themselves queens and in the same breath quote other hos like Marilyn Monroe and do other ho tactics like Monroe did. And there are a lot of bitches and hos walking around just like their are a buncha no good fellas, demons, whatever. And that’s not a diss, that’s not being bitter, that’s calling a spade a spade.
Aren’t men allowed to discern from that? Ladies, modern ladies I should say, I believe you need a point of reference when it comes to bitches, hos, and not being bitches and hos. Please…just don’t be bitches and hos. Don’t do things that bitches and hos do. BTW, you can’t make a man do jack sh*t. HOWEVER, if you would like for him to cease encompassing women in the “b*tches and hos” territory, I suggest that you stop referring to each other and stop buying AND SUPPORTING items that mark you in “B&H” categories. That’s how a man thinks!
And if your man spaz because “you drop a hint of crazy”, ummm…why shouldn’t he? You’ve just shown that you are crazy. And you shouldn’t run…he SHOULD run. In fact, I’ll meet you halfway…you both should run.
I know somebody is gonna read this and say, “You souuuuuuund lika bittuh bawb!” I’m not… I have great relationships with all of my women friends and those who are in my family. I just deal with reality and mathematics. I’m sure there are good women (because i know a few) and there are some not-so-good ones (…i know those too). Feel free to contact me if you’re feeling froggy.
– @zillz / mandommag.com