She is the love of his life – the one that he walks a mile for in the snow just to make her smile. And here you are, standing behind her wondering why you are second. Aren’t you his wife/boo/girlfriend? But here you are in competition with the other woman– his mother.
Prior to entering bliss with this man you may want to find out if he’s a mama’s boy. No, not a man who loves his mama and takes care of her as he should, but a man who sacrifices your budding relationship because his mama seems more like his wife. Below are 5 signs he’s a mama’s boy!
1. Run Tell That:
Every time you have a fight, he storms out and before you know it his mother is calling you. Seriously? Instead of standing his ground to work things out with you, he is relying on his mother to fix his mess. You’ll never have a successful relationship with this man because he is always looking for his mother to rescue him from the fire. The important thing about a relationship is knowing that at the end of the day – it’s you and your partner. Not you and your partner and his mama trying to work it out.
2. Domestically Handicapped:
She still folds his laundry. She still creates his grocery list. And you aren’t sure the last time he actually plugged in a vacuum. A mama’s boy likely has no idea how to take care of himself on the domestic front. Instead of his mother empowering him to be independent, she still babies him by doing everything for him. Your relationship will suffer because he’s going to expect you to do the same thing.
3. The Bar Is Too Damn High:
Every man should hold his mother to some sort of high regard. She did give him life after all. But that doesn’t mean every woman who comes along should be compared to his mother. It’s normal to think that he will look for a good woman if his mother is a good woman, but he should also recognize that NO WOMAN will ever reach the bar of his mother. That’s like trying to compare a good natural and a good weave. They just aren’t in the same category and have different criteria for ‘good.’ If your man is constantly reminding you how much better mama’s meatloaf is than yours, kick him to the curb. That’s a bar you’ll never be able to reach.
4. My Mama Said…:
Before he opens his mouth you already know the sentence will begin, “My mama said…” Your mama seems to talk a lot. We grow up and we start making up our own minds. We incorporate what our parents say into our behavior and choices but at some point – the decisions you make should be on your own recognizance. If he can’t seem to decide anything without first quoting his mother, he may just be a mama’s boy. You will find yourself frustrated that he doesn’t seem to have one unique thought in his head.
5. Bitter Bob:
Here’s a sign that is often overlooked. Not every “mama’s boy” is a mama’s boy in a positive sense because his mama is just that wonderful. Some men have horrible relationships with their mother and are forever tied to the influence she had on his life. Does he constantly refer to beautiful black princesses as bitches and hoes even when it’s not in a rap lyric? Is he suspicious of all women? He may be so scared from his relationship with his mother that he isn’t yet ready to open up and love you. If at any point you drop a hint of crazy, he may fly off the handle remembering how much she hurt him. Don’t just walk away if you see this sign….run.
Take note to the signs listed above and have a good heart to heart with your man. He may not even realize that he’s compromising your relationship because the relationship with his mother seems normal to him.
Understand one final thing – you will never pull a man away from his mother. He must learn to separate the roles of mother and wife in his life. Until he learns to do that on his own, you just become the enemy.