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The Single Life: Being Single Doesn’t Have To Be Depressing, Here’s How I’m “Doing Me”


Something about taking a break from romance makes you focus on self. There’s no longer strong arms to hide behind. Instead I stand in the mirror and face reality…I need to get my life together. So now that I’ve declared I’m “doing me” and out “doing my own thing” I had better get busy.


If you weren’t already active, it’s like the light bulb comes on. Do I have a pouch where my stomach use to be? Love makes you fat with all that good eating and “chilling.” Hell naw.

I bought the Janette Jenkins Hollywood Trainer “Blast the Belly Fat” DVD. It’s an incredible exercise regimen that involves an exercise ball and weights.

I, like most people, first watched the DVD first from the couch. Eating my Kettle chips I figured this was quite easy. The next day I’m up, ready to go, music blasting. I sat down and BAM right into the wall. I stared sadly at the exercise ball like it pushed me off on purpose. I tried again and BAM right into the table. I just laid on the floor after that and contemplated the important things in life…like why aren’t burgers considered vegetables.

But I’m single now and there was no excuse for me to become fluffy. The ball and I continue to have misunderstandings but it’s getting better.

Hair Changes

When you see a woman in a salon yelling “Cut it off!” to her stylist she’s going through a break up. One day, I decided every time I looked in the mirror I saw the face of the person who loved him. Every picture I took after the break up just looked like he was missing.

I was off to the beauty supply store at 7pm. I’d been dying my hair for years prior to going jet black three years ago so I figured doing my own dye job would be simple. It was time to take all this love out my hair with a new color. Going blonde was the logical choice.

When I found myself at the same store hours later, with a hat on to hide my orange hair, I reflected a bit more. Thankfully, I know how to correct color and ended up with a nice golden brown. The face that stared at me in the mirror the next time didn’t remind me of his love. Now it just reminded me of that one time I looked like a carrot.

New Hobbies

Since being single I’d been a…

– Sketch artist/ painter

–  Rapper

– Nail / make-up artist

– Fashonista

– Chef

– Gardner

– Interior decorator

– “Jogger”

– Instagram photographer

I wake up every day and decide to put on a new hat because I can. I’d tried every hobby I could get my hands on. Something about being single makes you look around and say “I DID always want to grow a chia pet!”

Well, I’m one hell of a nail tech but my interior decorating stopped with moving some tables around. I do love jogging but the lack of an “are you sure you want to send?” feature on instagram ended that career. Fashonista means I buy new shoes and being a chef was fun for a day. I continue to paint sometimes and gardening stopped when my plant died. I forgot to water it so maybe that’s not my talent. I read books again and that makes me happy.

I’m rediscovering those old hobbies and habits that I somehow lost while trying to blend a life with someone. Although I now have a storage closet full of “good hobby intentions gone wrong” it was worth it.

However, at the request of my friends I’m never allowed to be a rapper again.


Losing self in love is easy. But I plan to never do that again. Of all the things I lost, I miss my confidence the most. The only way to rebuild that is to focus on what matters most to me or find it. Through my great (and sometimes hilarious) solo adventures I enjoy what matters most – I enjoy my life.


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  • Mia

    Great Post!! I thought it was just me!! I thought i was the only one who found a new love in nails and makeup..I swear being single has provided me the uncanny ability to come up with all kinds of “business” and marketing plans. This would be a good hustle if only I could get some sleep because that’s the hardest part to get over; the cold side of the bed.

  • Very very true. All the hobbies in the world won’t get you over the cold side of the bed but at least you are busy during waking hours. Keep it up!