Well, for starters he violently attacked her three years ago, only for her to get back with him immediately but was then forced to end the relationship because of the media backlash and expectation that she must be a role model for the many young female fans she inspires. We were all left stunned by the assault, the release of a photo showing a battered Rihanna, the police report detailing the graphic assault and were subjected to the many attempts at salvaging both Brown and Rihanna’s image and careers.
Of course, Rihanna, being the victim, received sympathy and went on to have even greater success while Chris is still trying to pick up the pieces. Even with his return to the Grammys this year, where he won his first Grammy award, and was allowed to perform twice, many people still can’t get over his past transgressions. Now, with rumors Brown and Rihanna have not only rekindled a romance and that he attended her private birthday party just last week but now he’s set to be featured on her “Birthday Cake” remix. The same remix that’s been appropriately scheduled to make it’s debut on Rihanna’s actual birthday, February 20th. Oh the controversy will be surmounting.
But again, why should we care?
Whether she wants to or not, Rihanna has become the face of domestic violence and toxic love. She escaped with her life but has since dropped the restraining order. Since that time, rumors of a Rihanna and Chris reunion began to circulate and have finally been confirmed, with news that the full-length “Birthday Cake” remix will feature Chris Brown.
Although this is sure to set the media on fire and quickly climb the charts, what are the hidden impacts of this reunion and collaboration.
Reality tells us that celebrities are often more influential in a child’s life than their own parents. It’s the generation we have created and must now endure. What lesson is she sending? Time really heals all wounds? Rihanna is allowed to spend her time living the life she chooses, but her complete lack of explanation as to WHY she is doing this may hurt her young fans. It maybe be important for Rihanna to take a moment and stop screaming “F-the world” and “let me live my life” to explain some of her choices. Heavy is the head that wears the crown and unfortunately she must bear this burden. She spoke candidly about why she was leaving Chris and it may be time for her to explain why she is choosing to back peddle.
Her young fans may need a point of reference. They may need to understand that Chris really did change and seek help. It didn’t happen overnight. I worry that her younger, less perceptive, fans may believe that they should endure the beatings and danger with hopes that their “Chris” will change.
Rihanna is of course allowed to live her life as she pleases. As a fan of her music, I only wish the best for her success. As someone who has made a mistake, I see the need to forgive Chris and move on.
But domestic violence isn’t just something that goes away. It’s like lava in a volcano. It may never erupt again. However, that lava is there and there’s always the possibility for tragedy…
If these two erupt again, will the remix really be worth it?
– Dee Rene
If you’re like me, I too, comprehend why the media intends on, still, crucifying this young man for a crime he committed three years ago, especially when the very person he violated has chosen to forgive him. Was his actions wrong, absolutely! But in the wake of the growing suicide rate among today’s youth and the rise of anti-bullying campaigns, someone forgot compassion and forgiveness. We uphold celebrities to unrealistic standards because we fear our children are compelled to imitate them but fail to realize the our own power and influence in their actions and beliefs. Isn’t targeting Brown a form of bullying in itself?
Believe me, I am in no way condoning domestic violence, nor am I rooting for these two to rekindle a relationship. Although, I love them both as artists I understand that they are human first and an unhealthy relationship is an unhealthy relationship. Thankfully, I have never been a victim of domestic violence but I have bared witness to one. In many cases, couples involve in a domestic violent relationship are often codependent on each other. One is the aggressor, often violent and unable to control their emotions while the other, almost always, expects the abuse, and in some cases welcome it. Why? Because that is what they know, that is how they function and, quite frankly, it’s hard to break old habits.
For that reason, I fear a reunion of the two superstars, but most importantly I want them to get help. If being together is what makes them happy then it’s not up to us to get in the way. However, I do think we should support these two young artists in getting the help they may need in addressing their anger and the difficulty they may face in expressing their emotions. Often times, we judge, ridicule and condemn but fail to offer assistance. We tell women to not date abusive men but fail to teach our men better ways in addressing their anger and how not to be abusive. Just like we would tell an addict to seek rehabilitation and dysfunctional families to seek counseling, we should take the same approach in offering Chris and Rihanna our advice.
A role model is not someone who is perfect but someone with experience. Someone who doesn’t just offer his/her advice but has lived it. I think, both Chris and Rihanna have the opportunity to make this terrible situation a right one; a learning experience for us all. I wish them well and so should you.
– Ms. Toni