Let’s take a look at one woman’s perspective of how she became, as she puts it, a “gold digger”. Interestingly enough, I recently had a similar conversation with a friend detailing my own frustration a few years back when I had graduated college and had difficulty finding a job. I wondered, why bother going to school when your degree isn’t viable in the “real world”. To say the least I was seething with anger. Here’s one woman’s experience on how in desperate times she resorted to desperate measures.
Let me start by saying that I am a well educated woman in my late 20’s. I always use to pride myself on my many accomplishments since I was a child. I’ve always been driven, I am college educated and even had plans to go back to school and further my education. That all changed when I lost my job in early 2009.
I worked as a marketing assistant for a television network in New York City making a mere 30k per year and was quite satisfied with my job. I overlooked the low wage and long hours because I really enjoyed what I did. Since college I had decided I’d work my way up to being a TV executive. Unfortunately in the midst of a failing economy and not knowing the “right people” I was disposable.
I was devastated! I mean, I was a diligent worker, was punctual, always showed interest in my craft, I wanted to grow in this field. I believed I was on the right path to success and no one could stop me. Talk about motivated! Immediately I sent out resumes, signed up for every newsletter, job seeker account I could find. However, finding another job in the flatey industry seemed almost impossible. No one wanted to hire me. I had only worked at my previous job a little over a year and they needed someone with more experience. Even, my former boss, who’d advise me to stay in touch in case further opportunities presented them self was let go. The people who had all promised to provide references and help me in any way couldn’t and didn’t. They were too wrapped up in their own job security. Thankfully, I was still living at home and my parents were supportive. Although this eased the stress of having to provide for myself and pay rent I couldn’t help but feel worthless. All I’d done did not pay off. I mean, this didn’t make sense. This couldn’t make sense. I’ve always been taught that if you do the right thing and work hard then you’ll gain in return, right?
One night I’m sitting on the coach watching television. I believe it was one of the housewives reality shows and thinking to myself, “these spoiled selfish bitches!” It wasn’t just that reality show. It was a number of shows and even friends of mine who had met the “right man”. A man who supported them and spoiled them with lavishing gifts. All I could think was “so much for being a career driven independent woman”. While I worked hard to go to college, get a degree and enter corporate America these women were living the life. Even the women of ‘Basketball Wives’ and ‘Housewives’ franchise. It seems reality television may also be the best career move these days. You get on a show to brag about what you don’t really have, build a name for yourself, the next thing you know, you’ve got fans and lots of opportunities presented to you. Even celebrities from Kim & Khloe Kardashian, La La Anthony, singers Monica and Keyshia Cole are scooping up their own basketball player husband husband. Even Amber Rose got her meal ticket by scooping up one of Hip-Hop’s well known rappers. While I was knocking these women apart of me began to envy them. After six months of looking for my next big break I did a few temp jobs here and there but did nothing I was truly passionate about. This lasted for about another six months and before I knew it an entire year had gone by and I had nothing to show for it.
The same guys I overlooked in college and while I was pursuing my career, I thought, why not give ’em a chance, at least the ones worth giving a chance anyway. Let me say though, I’ve always been honest about what I wanted with these men. I’m not entirely proud of it but I dated a few drug dealers, wanna be rappers, a even a few men who had pretty legitimate jobs. As long as they were ready to wine and dine me I was fine. I was not interested in having an emotional attachment with any of these men and I didn’t care. Four and a half months later, that got boring. It also became difficult to get rid of the guy once he decided he wanted something more. So I decided if I was going to be a “gold digger” I’d prefer to dig on just one man. Eight months ago, a friend invited me to her birthday dinner and I met my “sponsor”. Its funny how when you ask for what you want you get it.
She told me he [Lance] had wanted to date me since we were introduced briefly two years ago. Honestly, I don’t even remember meeting the guy. He seemed nice, ok in the looks department, had a stable job, but most of all he wanted to spoil me as much as I wanted to be spoiled. to this day, there are no commitments, no stress, and we both get what we want from the situation. He’s even asked me to move in with him. And yes, I’m seriously thinking about it. He’s not rich but he does pretty good for himself and that’s exactly what I’m looking for.
I’ll probably go back to school eventually. I’m even thinking about getting him to pay for it but honestly I’m pretty comfortable being as they say “a kept bitch”. No complaints here. While people may judge me, remember, I’m doing just fine. Just like Kim, Khloe, Monica and all the rest, I’m living life and ain’t worried about what anyone else has to say about it. Maybe, ya’ll should try being a gold digger too. Until you try it don’t knock it.
Although, I understand your reasons and your frustration I want you to seriously think about what you’re doing. You’re stringing this man along as if there will be more to the relationship. He seems to be hopeful that there will be more, hence, his asking you to move in with him. Someone is going to get hurt if not already.
Have you also considered things may change after moving in together? This may be his way of trapping you, controlling the situation. Hey, why not? You seemed to have manipulated the situation the entire time. Could he have some tricks of his own up his sleeve? And even if he doesn’t, its just wrong on your part. If another month goes by and he no longer wants to support you what will you do then? Further more, what will be your accomplishment in life? Your looks and youth can’t hold you forever.
i know that being kept can entice anyone but remember nothing comes for free. There will always be a price you’ll pay later. By no means am I judging you, well maybe a little bit, lol. And if it works for you and even him, well great, but also be prepared for the consequences your decisions will bring later.