We may live in the modern age of the “independent women” but when it comes to the men in lives some women still live in the stone ages. No matter how educated, beautiful, wealthy and/or successful for these women their lives just won’t be complete until they have the man too.
This poses an interesting question, do women compromise their own beliefs for their relationships?
Often times, as women we do everything for everyone else. This is especially true for the men in our lives. We feed ’em, clean ’em, soothe their egos, caress their pride, and even baby ’em when they need babying.
Why do we do these things? The most obvious reason, to get the ring!
My name is Cynthia and I am a 27 years old women whose been with the same man for 6 years. I have groomed this man, invested years into this relationship, tended to all his needs and it would just break my heart if he were to leave me for another woman. The reason I bring this up is because I’ve heard stories from several girlfriends who’ve experienced the same thing. Your the woman whose with ’em when they didn’t have a thing but easily replaceable when they’ve finally “made it”!
There are no signs that he is ready to marry and I want to get married, like, yesterday. I’ve dreamed about our wedding day for the past 2 years, already written my wedding vows (numerous times), have picked out names for our son and daughter (who’ve yet to be born) and still nothing! I’ve put up with his meddling mother, assisted him through hard times, and even found time for this man even when everything in my own life seemed to be crumbling.
I find myself compromising my own happiness to make him happy. I love this man and know that I want to be with him for the rest of my life but I don’t want to be his option when I’ve made him my priority.
Cynthia you’ve touched on some very valid points. Why should you settle for being an after thought when he’s been your main priority. As women it is easy to put our own thoughts and feelings aside to make the people in our lives happy. It begins with our parents, siblings, friends, employers, employees and even our children. They come first. You’ve got to ask yourself “is he worth it?” Does he treat you with love and respect? Is it that he doesn’t want to be married or don’t want to marry you? Know that there is a difference. It is, he doesn’t feel emotionally, mentally or even financially stable enough to get married? These are all questions you’ve got to seek the answers for and that begins with having that open dialogue with your Mister.
If you’ve answered yes to the way he treats you and the love he shows then you’ve got a keeper on your hands. As for marriage, only he can give you the answer you are looking for. You are still young and have plenty of time to find what you’re looking for else where. If he is unwilling to give you answers to your questions, quite frankly, this man is stringing you along.Think about it, if he loves you he has a plan for the two of you, just ask. It’s either you figure this out now or later. It will hurt more later.
Know that you should never compromise your own happiness to make another happy. You risk feeling unfulfilled and resentful when your needs are continuously overlooked and dismissed.
This is true for any woman in a relationship that seems to be stuck in neutral. If he can’t make a decision you make one, and stick to it! What you get is what you put up with, know your worth.