If you all remember, in 2005 writer Terry McMillan went through a bitter divorce with then husband Jonathan Plummer.
McMillan, best known for novel How Stella Got Her Groove Back, based the main character, Stella, on her own experience as a forty something woman experiencing love with a much younger man for the first time, Jonathan Plummer then 20 yrs. old. Jonathan, as she described, young enough to be her son swept her off her feet after a 1995 trip to Jamaica that left her mesmerized.
The couple married in 1998 and after 6 years of marriage Plummer revealed, to McMillan’s disbelief, that he was gay. For the first time in 5 years Terry and Jonathan have joined forces once again to discuss Terry’s latest book Getting To Happy and how they were both able to move on.
Below are few excerpts of their interview.
On Not Knowing Jonathan Was Gay…
“I couldn’t drive in a car without him holding my hands. He brushed my hair. Massaged me. All kinds of wonderful things.”
On Her 2005 Appearance With Plummer on The Oprah Show During The Divorce
“When I came on [the show], it was more to bring more attention to the kind of harm that living a double life can cause, because it caused me a great deal of harm,” Terry says.
Terry On Being Angry
“My private life became a public circus,”….”Anger and bitterness, it’s an emotional termite,” she says. “You realize that it’s your happiness and your joy that you are sabotaging and that the other person has absolutely nothing to do it.”
Accusations Of Being A Homophobe & Filing A Lawsuit Against Plummer
“I wish that I hadn’t been so compelled to sue, because the anger lingered and it wore me out,” Terry says.
When I was ready to run him over, it wasn’t because he was gay. I never hated his guts because he was gay. … And that was one reason why I sued, because I hated the idea of being known as a homophobe. Jonathan deep down inside knew I wasn’t homophobic. I have too many gay and lesbian friends. Too many.
On Writing Getting To Happy
“I realized that there are a lot of women out here in America who are 40 and upward who have experienced betrayal and deception as well,” she says. “I was more concerned about women who are in my age group who allow this kind of devastation to just ruin their present.”